A Declaration

For one whole day, I am not going to rush.

Today I will take things as they come and complete things as I have the time/energy.

This past weekend was the bridal extravaganza up in Philly. Hooray! All bridal stuff is finally done! My life is mine once more! And then I got slammed with tonsillitis...

This week was essentially a wash. Thinking about everything I am behind on this morning (my one and only day of full-work this week), I started stressing myself out as usual.

I made a pact with myself during a bathroom break that I won't rush for the rest of the day. I have a lot going on, a lot to do, and a lot of places to be. And I'm still only operating at about 70% health and 30% energy. The world will keep turning. I think.

I don't even have the energy to describe the things I'm worried about these days.

Cliff notes:

• Got a new pair of glasses. They're not working as well as I'd hoped but the doc double checked the prescription and says they should be fine. The world looks distorted. It doesn't feel "fine."
• I will have to submit a claim to the ins company because of a weird snafu that made me pay for the glasses out of pocket... insurance confuses me. The idea of solving this problem makes my stomach hurt.
• I decided to re-do my website... because I can't leave well enough alone. It's the one ounce of fun I've been able to find lately. So it'll be fun when I get around to completing it. The advantage is that I'm not actively looking for a job so I can tinker forever and nothing outwardly bad will happen. I want to reorient this site to present myself as an illustrator predominantly... who also does design. My current job will pay my way through the next few years until I can formulate some sort of plan for tapping into the illustration/character creation field that interests me more. But I should begin structuring my extra-curricular life to fit my goals.
• I have an aikido test in 2 weeks that I feel underprepared for but I haven't been to class in over a week thanks to tonsillitis and travel.

Blythe likes to say that discontent is our greatest asset... in the moment though, discontent feels frustrating... Perhaps the world will seem a little less overwhelming when I can breathe through my nose again, swallow without the pain of a thousand knives, and stop coughing up phlegm. Maybe. I don't know.

No rushing today though. No rushing.