Life

My life at the moment: a weird threshold—stuck in limbo between one lifestyle and another.

But I really can't complain. And I won't. Because ultimately, I am content. Happy even.

Since the beginning of March, I have had a physical freedom that I had never experienced before. I literally have no physical commitments on a day to day basis—particularly in terms of employment. I can be anywhere in the damn world as long as I have internet access and an external hard drive. I'm even fairly flexible when it comes to Aikido. I go to class 3 days a week. Wednesdays are mandatory because Sensei teaches and I'm in the instructor training program. Thursdays are devoted to weapons so I always make sure to attend because I enjoy it. The last day is totally up to me! I could go 4 days a week if I wanted. If it's a particularly busy week, maybe I only go 2. Whatever!

My biggest challenge at the moment is structuring my day. When I have SUCH a large gaping hole of "free-time," I tend to lose focus and in stressing about all of the things I could be doing, I end up sitting around playing songs on youtube and realizing: Where the hell did 3:00 go? Wasn't it 2:45 a minute ago? How is it 4:30 now? And what the hell did I do in that hour and a half?

Since accepting the new job (which begins on May 28!!), I've been looking at these few weeks as like a waiting period instead of what they truly are: three full weeks of my life that I should do something productive with. So I think I'm going to attempt to outline a daily plan. I had avoided it until this point because it felt like an exercise in futility. What am I going to do with this plan when I start work on May 28? But no! I shall make a plan that I can carry on into my days of work. Mostly this plan involves waking up earlier (haha) and assembling a very specific list of things to accomplish in the morning before work so as to avoid either procrastinating with them later or being stuck with them at 10:30pm when I finally get around to them. Things like blogging, Facebooking, running, reading magazines....things I resort to when I want to waste a little time because "Oh I haven't done that lately!" Perhaps I'll even set it up on a weekly schedule so that I don't feel the need to rush through all of them in 2 hours in the morning. I don't know. A worthy experiment. I was inspired by Claire and Corey's seemingly smooth but interesting daily routine in which there was enough time to themselves to stay sane but enough structure that they actually got things done on a daily basis.

But it all harkens back to willpower. Do I have the willpower to wake up a 6 o'clock in the morning when I know I don't ultimately have to? Judging from past experience, no, haha.