Zig Ziglar warns us not to get "cooked in the squat." Meaning, don't pretend to get ready for some big leap of life and then stagnate in the preparation without ever stepping off the edge.
I was getting there. I'd been squatting since January 10 when I had a breakdown in my boss's office telling him I hated working there. I was becoming cooked in the squat much to my dismay. Well... Today, as I was still convincing myself to leap, I got shoved unexpectedly off the edge. My boss informed me that Saturday should be my last day now that I have been training a temporary person for March all this week. It's Wednesday. My last day is 3 days away.
I'm terrified. But also a little relieved. I hate not knowing where my next paycheck is coming from but the fact that I don't have to go back there Monday morning is so fucking attractive.
This will mark the first time that I will leave school or a job without a very real, very viable option for continued employment since graduating college. It's kind of freeing. Makes me want to hop a plane to CA or something. Except that I shouldn't waste the money on a plane ticket haha. I need to pay bills.
It's not all that grim. I have a small freelance client base that I will be kindly asking for work. Any work. All work. And I have become involved with a creative staffing agency that will hopefully provide me with some much needed contract work.
Still scared. But this time, I'm anxious because there is a huge gaping hole in front of me that could lead to any number of awesome or terrifying things. It's a nice break from the exhaustion and suffocation of the box I was trapped in until now.
Different emotions. Still strong. But I think anxiety/excitement beats depression/hopelessness any day of the week.
1 comment:
Based on my admittedly limited life experience, I strongly believe that being shoved into the deep end and forced to paddle is the best way to give your life a jump start. At least it is for me because it's hard for me to self-motivate, but... when it's an actual sink or swim situation, you really give it your all! So... I think this is VERY exciting, even if it starts out really hard!
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